Editor’s Note: The letters below are from women currently incarcerated at DCI. These women are students in a program provided by Wilmington College. Their last names have been removed to protect their privacy.
What second chance means to me, is having the ability to show that my past does not define me, and just because I’ve made mistakes, I’m not the mistakes I’ve made, but the positive choices I’m making now.
At this point in my life, it’s not about me. It’s about my four beautiful daughters and leading by example that no matter what happens in life, regardless of the trials and tribulations you face, there’s always a chance to elevate yourself.
I know now that I’m nothing to no one until I’m everything to myself. That has been the biggest opportunity I’ve had is learning to love myself. So giving myself a second chance was imperative as well as profound in being successful during my incarceration.
What I’m looking forward to most is being able to show everyone in spite of our backgrounds it’s possible to change the narrative of your story by putting in the hard work, and that to me is way more meaningful knowing full well can’t no one take what I’ve earned from me.
I would like to utilize my degrees a couple different ways, but mostly to serve as an inspiration to those who have no hope, grit, drive, or determination, that they have the potential to achieve whatever it is they put their mind to! It all boils down to “if you don’t challenge you, it won’t change you.” It’s not about me, it’s all about paying it forward.
- Joy
Second chances seem delusional through the eyes of an inmate serving a life sentence. Fantasizing about a parole date that seems bigger than your birth date, wedding date, or birth of your firstborn; comes and goes without an answer of whether you are deserving of a second chance. No matter the reparations nor amends to victims’ families, society, or within oneself. 15 to 45 years, with multiple unexplained flops, has paralyzed the mental, physical and emotions of a human, who has become detached in every sense, a step away from a corpse.
The thought of a second chance with a life sentence hanging over your head is a slippery slope. To give into the hope that a panel of strangers who don’t have the decency to even enter a room, look at you face to face, listen to you, meet you or interview in a proper manner. Instead, the thought of your second chance begins with feeling like you are a contagious pariah. The trepidation of going back through a trial, with a new democracy; where the judge and jury is a boned hand selected by people who are not your peers.
Second chances become a reality through the people you invest into, who enter the Intensive Care Unit on the Island of Misfits; with you at whatever made up name of the institution you are residing. Raising the young inmates like the child you will never be able to physically birth; while caring for the elderly like your mother or grandmother. All along labeling each drifter that is lodged in the inn of your second chance.
My comrades and I painfully laugh saying a second chance would feel like hitting the lottery for a billion dollars, being Peter Pan going to Never Never Land, or being the lonely Shrek and finding Fiona spending the rest of our lives together. Being okay with standing out, thinking different, not being totally civilized due to spending decades in prison. A second chance in shoes like mine are so rare that we call it a miracle when they happen.
Lastly, second chances come in the victim dialogue, when the true victim’s family or friend can be released from the traumatized cage that I, the reformed prisoner, have forced them into. While I pray hoping that Moses will show up one day and stand against my Pharaoh. While I keep reaching into my shepherd’s bag pulling out a stone to sling at every lion and bear; until I encounter Goliath and watch him stumble and fall down to release these chains.
- Zontay
I’m more than just a number. Second chances mean forgiveness and the opportunity to repair. This number has given me the chance to sit still when I didn’t have the strength to sit myself still. For me this second chance is to help me heal the things I have broken in my life.
- Kristina
When I am finally released back in to the community, I will be able to stand on my own, since this is something I have never done. So knowing that because I have accomplished a higher education and will be able to get a job using my degree that I am working so hard to finish. I have never held a job and never finished high school. So when I got my GED at 36 and started college at 46 after being told that I would never accomplish anything in my life and now I have not only accomplished making it to my junior year in Wilmington but I also have my universal certification in HVAC, I know when I leave this place I will never have to depend on someone else to take care of me because I can do it myself.
- Rosalie
Most would have pegged me as college-bound — instead I found myself incarcerated. Coming to prison at a young age, I thought any prospects for a bright future were over. With no prior employment history and solely a high school degree, what could I possible offer an employer after decades in prions? By being allotted the opportunity to pursue a higher education - bachelors degree - I believe I am accomplishing something worthwhile for the first time in my 32 years of life. I can see doors opening in my future and know if I am granted the mercy of a second chance I will not squander it. I plan to obtain my MBA and become an adjunct professor. Knowledge is vital for growth and I hope to infuse others with the desire for academia. Ultimately, I desire to encourage at-risk youth not to make similar negative life choices I did, but rather give them hope for a better future.
- Jennifer
Everyday that I open my eyes,
and my feet touch the floor,
I thank God for another opportunity
To make that day better than the one before.
The barred windows and barbed-wire fences
remind me daily of the restrictions I face,
but rather than succumb to its negative stigmas,
I exude optimism in a sunken space.
Living in prison’s unpredictable circumstances
helps me to adapt to changing norms,
one day can be as bright as a Spring day,
while others as violent as thunderstorms.
I’ve used this time as an opportunity
to better myself in every way that I should,
Sharing all the wisdom I have with open ears,
feeling humble and grateful that I could.
And while I’m still a work-in-progress,
I refuse to give past thoughts and behaviors another glance,
I am looking forward to the positives of tomorrow,
and making the best of my second chance.
- Demarlo
My second chance of life is getting out pursuing my business and career with hair. Furthering my education as well in a culinary business. I have a second chance of life being held at gunpoint arrested under the influence of alcohol. I didn’t care what anyone said about my life or their opinions. I was drinking my problems away at home in Toledo, OH - a bad way of coping. I was trying to find myself in a wrong way. I understand what’s more important than entertaining others. Coming to my study hall gives me a peace of mind and I get a chance to study because I’m serious about my education.
- Sequoia
There are days when I wake up that everything falls into a perfect order. I see opportunities, treat others with dignity and respect. Good decisions come naturally. I give more than I take, doing the right thing is automatic. I practice self-care and love. Go the extra mile.
I feel accomplished going on with my merry day.
Other days when I wake up there is turmoil. I feel oppression. I coldly treat others with indifference, give less - want more. Doing the wrong thing, taking short cuts comes naturally. I fail at self-care and love, grumble as I do the bare minimum.
Life is full of misery and mistakes.
I thank God for second chances.
These chances allow me to start fresh and new. Second chances are the opportunity to make things right. I call them “do overs.”
- J.M.
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