My daughter has taught me to accept the growing pains in life, she has made me aware of my unhealthy ways of coping, she has influenced me to embrace what I don’t know.
I am a better friend and neighbor because of my daughter. I try not to assume another’s story, as that story belongs to them.
It is because of my daughter that I will now approach a stranger and create a loving space that is open to the moment to help, to compliment or to respond with patience.
My experiences with postpartum depression, a pandemic and isolation motivated me to create a group I co-lead through our church focused on bringing together parents whose children have medical or special needs. Through our group, we have a broad range of children and adults whose needs are very different. Members can relate to different challenges, from immediate needs to future complexities. We may be in similar storms, just different boats.
My family walks in and through the unknown at all times, but with that we celebrate life as much as possible: Jeep drives at 2-years-old with the doors off; so many impromptu photoshoots; driving to Tybee Island, GA to take a sunset sail while wearing fairy wings and watching dolphins; taking a nap in the grass; rolling through the flower aisles in the wheelchair while waving a magic wand; themed birthday parties; painting kindness rocks; and let’s not leave the playground and Disney store visits following most hospital stays.
However, as my daughter gets older, our family encounters even more obstacles.
I have equipped our Honda Odyssey to the best of my ability by using shower suction containers to hold diapers, wipes, pads and more. I use backseat car organizers to hold medical supplies: extra trachs, trach ties, saline bullets, gauze, trach vents, suction catheters, g tube supplies and emergency equipment. I have attempted to create curtains for the back windows as I use the back row of the van as a changing station — it is, unfortunately, rare to find an adult changing table in a public restroom with a large enough area to accommodate a wheelchair. As a local mom whose daughter uses a wheelchair, I would love to see adult changing tables in the family restrooms at places like Target, Walmart, the MetroParks, malls and grocery stores.
School is another obstacle our family is now facing. Our daughter is deaf and needs the support of a deaf school. Unfortunately, Dayton does not have a K-12 deaf school, so we are now looking into the Ohio School for the Deaf in Columbus. I believe Dayton would benefit greatly from building a K-12 Deaf school, which would bring together the deaf culture in Dayton and create more jobs for those who are deaf.
We live with both the immediate concerns of our daughter’s health and development as well as our future concerns that include who will care for her when we are not around. We have many unanswered questions, but for now, we are thankful that our daughter is here and we have the gift of today.
GET INVOLVED: Our church support group meets the first Tuesday of every month at Victory Church in Tipp City at 7 p.m. This is open to everyone and we have a very laid back, come-when-you-can energy! Please don’t hesitate to reach out if interested. You can contact me at kmyer115@gmail.com. For those who may not be able to join us but are interested in being a part of a similar group, I would look into your local churches as some have special needs ministries.
Kinzer Myer is a local mom of a fiercely beautiful little girl, a wife to a man with a heart of gold and a lover of all things outside.
About the Author