The people featured in Hope! enjoyed telling Anna their stories, but the real transformation occurred in Anna and those who have read the stories. In a culture that often focuses more on productivity than the inherent dignity of each person, Anna discovered the power of listening.
Francine Buchanon, one of the residents in the book, beautifully summed up the impact of listening: “Nobody knows what somebody is going through unless they tell you.” Residents generously opened up about their triumphs and struggles. Many experienced trauma in their lives when they were young, and while they are now in their 70s, 80s and 90s, the marks of those traumas remains.
Anna told me one of the most difficult parts of the project was sitting in silence in her car, processing what she had just heard after an interview.
“It seemed trivial to return to my normal life after fully immersing myself in someone else’s,” Anna shared. “It is difficult enough hearing these stories the first time, but I came home and listened to hours and hours of audio, piecing together what I had heard. It was difficult to know what each of these incredible people had been through. It was hard to explain to my friends and family how powerful these stories were to hear, and how much they would change my life.”
One of my first memories at St. Mary was chatting with an older woman who lived in her own house in West Dayton. We sat at her kitchen table and drank lemonade as she told me about her life and family. Near the end of our conversation she said, “You’ve probably noticed the smell in my house.”
The strong odor was too bold not to notice. I said, “Yes, I can smell it.”
She explained that while her house was very small and she had little money, she’d taken in a cousin of hers who was an alcoholic and homeless. He rarely bathed, and while she didn’t know him well, she took him in so he wouldn’t be on the street any longer. He was extremely difficult to live with, but he was family.
I was stunned by her kindness and self-sacrifice.
I remember sitting in my car after our visit, similar to Anna, tears streaming down my face. The woman’s generosity and love for her cousin astonished me. Never had I shown anyone such kindness at significant expense to myself. I had never acted in such a heroic manner. She was the first of many, many residents who taught me the deep meaning of love that overcomes adversity.
Anna’s words are a challenge to each of us. How often do we take time to truly listen to someone else’s story, not in an attempt to solve their problems, but to understand who they are and to see their inherent dignity? Anna now asks herself when she meets someone new, “What stories do they hold? What more do I have to learn? I’ll never know unless I ask.”
Those are very wise words. Words filled with hope for the future.
A free e-book edition of Hope! is available on the St. Mary website: StMaryDevelopment.org. Paperback copies of Hope! can be ordered on the website and a free study guide with reflection questions is available for book clubs, groups or individuals to use. Some of the interviews have also been turned into podcast episodes, so readers can hear residents in their own voices.
Tim Bete is president of St. Mary Development Corporation.
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