Two weeks ago, I met some buddies for dinner. I assumed we’d spend the evening discussing the things guys usually talk about when they get together without their wives or girlfriends: sports, politics, nuclear physics, how much we hate not spending the evening with our wives or girlfriends.
When I got to the restaurant they already were there and they were discussing ... Charlie Sheen.
He was the main topic of conversation at an Academy Awards dinner party I went to two nights later, although maybe that merely reflected how boring the telecast was.
There is, apparently, no place to escape from conversations about Martin Sheen’s son. He easily is the most discussed human being since Tiger Woods’ “cocktail waitresses across America” tour.
Publications can’t print enough about him. The New York Times reported this week that “tiger blood” had been turned into a catchphrase. I’m not sure it ever will be in Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations, but for sure it’s a lot catchier than “I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.”
People on television programs can’t stop talking about him. And not just the celebrity-sniffing ones that can devote every show for a week to delivering breathless details about Kate Middleton’s wedding plans and Justin Bieber’s haircut.
When I turned on CNN the other morning to find out what in the world was going on, the news reader was talking about how many thousands, or millions, or billions of Twitter messages about the guy were being sent around the country. Other cultures use Twitter to foment revolutions and overthrow tyrants. We use it to voice our opinions about a wacked-out television actor.
My wife’s theory is that the Charlie Sheen story is like the proverbial train wreck from which you can’t turn away.
She could be right. Whatever the reason, this year the phrase March Madness doesn’t necessarily have anything to do with basketball. But there is, at least, one good thing about all this chatter about Charlie Sheen.
It’s been 10 days since I’ve heard anybody mention those Kardashian people.
Contact D.L. Stewart at dlstew_2000@yahoo.com.
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