DISCLAIMER: This is a friend’s story and she isn’t a redditor but I begged her to let me post it from the perspective that she told the story in. Also I apologize, I’m not a writer.
I am currently a second grade teacher at a public school. I have a wonderful class and I like to reward them when they have a good week by having volunteer parents bring in snacks (I.E. cookies, candy, granola etc.) provided the parent keeps them hypoallergenic. This week our volunteer parent, who we will refer to as Autumn Lily Speaker (not far from her actual name) told me on Wednesday that she will be preparing cookies for the class and is ‘excited for this opportunity’. Thinking nothing of it, I thanked her and marked it off my weekly to-do list.
So Friday rolls around and the kids are excited. Autumn Lily Speaker comes into the classroom with a pan full of treats and brings them to me and says with a smile “I decided you can use these to teach the kids about the woman’s vagina today”. Baffled and completely caught off guard I slowly peel the aluminum foil off the pan to behold a plethora of sugar cookie and frosting vaginas. Not just any old vagina, but ALL KINDS OF VAGINAS. There were small, puffy, white, brown, shaved, bald, and even a fire crotch with beef curtains. perplexed I give the parent the most professional look I can muster and quietly reply “I’m sorry Autumn, but I can’t give these to my students. This just isn’t appropriate.”
cue angry radical feminist
Autumn bursts with the fury of a thousand angry Andrea Dworkin’s and starts yelling in front of the class about how ‘I should be proud of my vagina’ and ‘I am settling for a women’s role in life’. Utterly bemused and frozen from shock all I can do is stand and stare at the woman as the word ‘vagina’ is yelled in front of my second grade class about 987,000 times. Finally after what seemed like an eternity, she storms out of the class leaving her vagina cookies on my desk. I scramble to collect my thoughts and take control of the situation before my second graders develop vaginal PTSD. My only thought is to scrape off the vagina frosting and hand out the plain sugar cookies to my students.
The rest of my day went quite well and ended without a incident. I sent my kiddos home and started wrapping up work and getting ready to leave when the phone rings and a bewildered parent wants to know why their son learned the word ‘vagina’ in class today I answer the best I can explaining the situation in the most professional manner possible. I get about 3 more phone calls and 4 emails until I get it, the mother of all emails… Autumn’s.
Autumn's email (screenshots) http://imgur.com/a/Kb7Zx
Here is a combination of words you probably never thought would ever be in the same sentence: a mom brought vagina cookies to her second-grader’s class.
Yeah, vagina cookies.
Children should know about the human anatomy, but a tray of vagina cookies probably is not the appropriate teaching tool.
According to a post by A Reddit user JPstudly, a mom brought cookies shaped like “ALL KINDS OF VAGINAS” to school and blew up when the female teacher, a friend of JPstudly’s, was like, “Um, no thanks.”
See description below.
“The Tale of the Vagina Cookies and the Second Grader” is a horrible title for a children’s book. The cookies aren’t even the most shocking part of this story.
That would be the walk off to a note the ‘feminist” vagina-embracing mom is said to have sent the teacher via email.
A screen shot of the supposed email was posted to Imgur.
Here is that last line: "So I (parent's name) will be taking or trying to take (child's name) out of your class due to your cliche role in life in being a teaching and not wanting to empower women. I hope you end up with an abusive husband that beats you every night."
Contact this blogger at arobinson@DaytonDailyNews.com or Twitter.com/DDNSmartMouth
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