We talked to a local educator and father of two teen daughters to see what you can do to prevent this.
Moderation is key
According to information provided by the Pew Research Center, teens send an average of 60 texts per day, and teen girls, particularly older teens, send a median 100 texts daily. Because teens’ and tweens’ brains are still developing, it’s easy for them to become addicted to texting or communication via social media messaging.
But don’t rush to ban the phone entirely, suggested Jeff Rouff, principal of Hopewell Junior School in West Chester Twp. “We need to figure out a good balance, so that it doesn’t get in the way of what we’re trying to do (at school),” he said. “It’s a way of life for this age group; it’s what they know.”
Rouff stressed that accountability and responsibility are key factors when he and his staff deal with students and their phones. He has not banned phones in the building — just headphones — but challenges students to use the phone responsibly. For example, students are instructed to wait until lunch to check and send personal messages.
“It’s a very similar situation to being in a big meeting and having your phone go off in the middle of it,” he said. “Your boss wouldn’t be very happy about it, and that’s the type of lesson we’re trying to teach here.” It’s important to keep in mind that all children will have access to this technology eventually. Teaching them responsible use while they’re young can make a big difference to their ability to handle it in college and beyond.
Technology and schoolwork
Cellphones in the hands of teens have a bad reputation, and sometimes deservedly so, as the American Psychological Association study indicates. However, many schools have successfully embraced technology, and electronic devices can have a positive impact on academics when used appropriately.
“There are some advantages. Our kids collaborate on projects or assignments. It’s much easier now. If my daughter forgets what numbers to do on the homework assignment, she just texts somebody in the class and 30 seconds later, she knows exactly what they need to do,” Rouff said. “Or if someone leaves a book at school, another student can text a picture of it. There are positives that go along with it. It’s all about that healthy balance.”
But what about the link between compulsive texting and grades? “Just like with anything else, it’s an easy distraction,” Rouff said. “When we sit down and talk with kids who might be struggling to turn homework in or their study habits aren’t strong, we say, ‘Well, talk to us a little bit about what your evening looks like.’ ”
More often than not, that evening includes a great deal of texting and social media. It’s common for students to become caught up in it, Rouff said, because they fear missing out on what’s happening in their social world. This fear can create the compulsion to constantly check texts, tweets or comments, and this is what needs to be held in check.
Trust and communication
Parents are essential in keeping the lines of communication open regarding teens and tweens texting. The Pew Research Center’s information states that “texting is the number one way teens get in touch with their friends,” and the overwhelming majority of teens’ cellphones are purchased by their parents.
If you choose to buy your tween or teen an electronic device, be sure to monitor their use closely to be sure that their phone habits aren’t becoming a compulsion. “Parents just knowing what’s going on makes it easier to have those conversations,” Rouff said. He also suggested limiting teens’ time on their phones while the entire family is home, perhaps by collecting everyone’s devices in a basket and encouraging face-to-face conversation.
It’s important to friend or follow your child on their social media accounts and periodically check their texts. Trust is key, particularly with this age group, so be sure that you’re transparent about your checks and the rules associated with device use. Allow the trust to build while your teen uses his or her device responsibly, but be clear about the consequences if things start to go out of control.
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