I am willing to jump it in light of the recent biting controversy involving the apparently rabid soccer player Luis Suárez.
The bite felt around the world (it happened during a World Cup match) came nearly 17 years to the date that boxer Mike “I Like the Taste of Human Flesh” Tyson bit a chunk out of Evander Holyfield’s ear.
Holyfield even Tweeted about Suárez’ sample of Italy’s Giorgio Chiellini’s apparently un-tenderized shoulder (Suárez grabbed his teeth after the bite).
"I guess any part of the body is up for eating," Holyfield wrote on his Twitter page.
Seems biting is something the Uruguayan soccer striker is known to do.
He's left his mark on soccer by leaving bite marks on at least two other players: Otman Bakkal in 2010 and Branislav Ivanovic in 2013.
Each lacked the “romance” of even poet Sylvia Plath’s much-discussed bloody bite to writer Ted Hughes’ cheek.
I know the appeal of a good clamp down… well, at least I used to.
I am a reformed bitter, having left teeth marks all over my cousins’ arms, shoulders, stomachs and legs.
That’s all behind me.
I was a notorious biter from about age 2 to about 5, which may explain why I am so freaked out by cannibals and zombies today. Payback …
Cross me once, shame on you.
Cross me twice, also shame on you — and you would have gotten nipped.
FIFA, soccer’s international governing body, has charged Suárez with biting Chiellini and has launched disciplinary proceedings.
Several have tried to analyze why he goes vampire on opponents.
Some suggested that Suárez got caught up in the moment.
A Guardian writer questioned if there is a little Suarez in all of us that our conscious mind keeps in check.
He cites the three types of violent biters identified by the FBI: the frustrated, the experimental and the threatened biter.
Looking back, it was pretty clear why I chose to bite.
I was a little kid and for the most part, I wanted what I wanted and felt like I should have it.
It was pretty simple: I lashed out when I didn’t get my way for one reason or another.
Even as a little kid, I knew it was wrong to chomp down on my kin, but I did it anyway.
I didn’t stop until after they started showing me what it felt like to be bitten.
How shocked was I the first time one of my elder cousins gave me a little taste of my own medicine.
Suarez is going to have to get bitten — figuratively of course — or he’ll never understand why you can’t go around hurting other people.
Unfortunately he won’t be the first and he won’t be the last person to feel the big payback.
Contact this blogger at arobinson@DaytonDailyNews.com or Twitter.com/DDNSmartMouth
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