“For the first many months, it’s like you’re drowning and the pain is all-consuming, The emotions and the stages of grief happen, in no particular order, and it’s crushing,” Anderson said Friday. “Then, over time, that giant wet blanket that is suffocating you, you learn to carry a little bit better; you get stronger and the heaviness gets a little lighter.”
Stephen Marlow is accused of shooting and killing Sarah Anderson, 41, and Kayla Anderson, 15, on Aug. 5, 2022, at their home on Hardwicke Place — before shooting Clyde Knox, 82, and his wife Eva “Sally” Knox, who lived down the street from the Andersons.
Marlow fled the scene and was arrested the following day in Lawrence, Kansas. He now faces more than 20 charges related to the killings in Montgomery County Common Pleas Court, including aggravated murder charges.
In December, Marlow entered a plea of not guilty by reason of insanity. Marlow, 40, is being held at the Montgomery County Jail pending results from a third competency evaluation. A hearing regarding his competency is scheduled for Sept. 18-19.
One year into a lifetime of grief and healing, Anderson said he is focusing on living a life that his wife and daughter would be proud of.
“That’s been my motivation to keep going and keep getting up every day,” he said, adding that while he’s now able to hold the grief more gently, it’s a force that ebbs and flows. “It’s really tough and you don’t always see it coming, like when a random song plays or you see a random picture; it just breaks you down.”
As part of his effort to honor Sarah and Kayla’s memory, Anderson, with help from the Vandalia-Butler and Butler Twp. community, created a scholarship in Kayla’s name soon after the tragedy. The first round of $1,000 scholarships went out this year to two Vandalia-Butler seniors.
Recipients are considered based on GPA, extracurricular participation, and a written essay expressing how they exemplify the qualities and character Sarah and Kayla embodied, Anderson said.
“(Sarah and Kayla) were known for living life to the fullest, making others feel valued, living joyful lives, and loving unconditionally,” reads a mission statement on the scholarship’s website, SarahandKayla.org.
On social media, Anderson shared a post memorializing the two, along with information about the scholarship, accompanied by the hashtags #LoveLikeSarah and #LiveLikeKayla.
“Sarah was somebody who would always make sure you knew she loved you; she was super loyal and took care of her family and friends ... to love like Sarah is to love unconditionally,” Anderson said. “And to live like Kayla ... she was just so spunky and outgoing, and joyful and goofy. Whatever she did, she did with her whole heart and gave 110%.”
While life is immeasurably different for Anderson and his eldest daughter, 18-year-old Olivia, who will be off to college this year, he said the two have made it this far with the help of the community and with God.
“Our faith has gotten us to where we are. Sarah and Kayla were both Christians who love God; that was a big part of our whole family and still is,” he said. “We wouldn’t be where we are today without that relationship.”
To make a donation to the Kayla Anderson scholarship fund, visit SarahandKayla.org.
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