By any other name would smell as sweet;
-William Shakespeare from "Romeo & Juliet"
I consider this phrase from the play with skepticism. “Name calling” is, I’m sure, as old as dirt. I wonder if, when Eve woke up in a bad mood, Adam tried to cheer her up by saying: “Ah Eve, stop being a Debbie Downer.”
I don’t know about you, but every Debbie I’ve ever met was anything but.
Let’s talk about John.
The name John is actually in the dictionary and can refer to a policeman, a butler or a manservant, a priest, an Englishman, a toilet, a signature, a plant, an unknown or otherwise unnamed person, a hen-pecked husband and even the client of a prostitute.
And of course there’s Richard. I’ll just leave that one right there.
Unless you’ve been living under a social media rock (no judgement here — maybe a little bit of envy, truth be told) you know where this is leading.
I’ll just jump right in — and this is a short list:
Karen is racist. Karen is demanding. Karen is privileged. Karen is entitled. Karen throws a tantrum. Karen is rude. Karen is obnoxious. Karen needs to get over it. Karen has that haircut. Karen is ignorant. Karen is at it again. Karen likes to complain. Karen needs to just stay quiet. Karen doesn’t care about anyone but herself. Karen calls the cops on black people. Karen is an old white woman. Karen is difficult to deal with. Karen wants to speak to the manager. Karen is the customer you don’t want. Karen will do anything to get her way. Karen isn’t worth listening to. That is such a Karen thing to do — to complain about a meme about Karen.
And how about Ku Klux Karen? Ouch.
Friends, I’m going to attempt to appeal to your good nature. This is not a rant or a complaint, and I’m not attempting to act like a Karen.
No manager will be called here. But this feels … wrong. Stores all over America display signs that say “Black Lives Matter” and proudly wave rainbow flags and yet are posting signs that say “Don’t be a Karen — wear a mask.” Do you know what this says to me? We love you if you are Black, we love you if you are gay, but we don’t love you if your name is Karen. That just seems so contrary.
For all of you out there named Karen — I’ve been told there are 1.1 million of you — I’m sorry. I’m sorry that the nice ones who would really like to speak out are being told to keep quiet because, yes, they are then perpetuating their name. Indeed, the ultimate Catch 22. But there are people hurting from this. Not just mad. Not just upset. But hurting. The stones being thrown from such an angry mob are truly torturing — not just offending — Karens.
I read a post from a woman named Karen recently. I dare you to not feel for her:
“I am asking you to stop using this name in such a way. This has absolutely affected me. I have received backlash online about my name. I honestly feel like I am treated different in scenarios just because, ‘Well she is a Karen.’ I have started thinking about changing my name legally or trying to go by a nickname. I am afraid that my name will always be associated with extreme negativity. It makes me sad.”
What are, or will be, the repercussions of being named Karen? Consider the Karens who are an absolute fit for a wonderful job. Is there a subliminal message that is going to be sent to the HR director to not hire her because she’s a “Karen?” And what about the woman who has a legitimate complaint or a 911 call or an important court case? Will she just be seen as a “Karen” and not be taken seriously? How many lives will be changed?
How many very nice, very kind, very loving women named Karen will start to doubt themselves? Or worse, as mentioned above, want to change their name. THEIR NAME! I have nine granddaughters and one grandson, and my goal is to be a role model for them. To show them that it’s OK to speak up and say what they need to say, regardless of what their name is.
The plight of being named Karen is not one that will get people killed or murdered. I honestly am not attempting to compare it to what is going on right now in our world. But it already has damaged lives, and caused a ton of hurt and anxiety. Can we please, please turn this around? Maybe just stop it?
The name shame game has gone far enough. Let’s just call an ace an ace, a jerk a jerk, a racist a racist, a bully a bully.
Go ahead and call out those who deserve to be called out. Just don’t substitute the word you are grasping for, the point you are trying to make, with the name Karen.
Names are important. They are part of our identity. I’d forgotten this until today, when my 93-year-old mother said my name as she lay dying — the name I used to love to hear her say in her soft, sweet voice. The name she and my father gave me the morning I was born — Karen.
Karen Kelly Brown’s background is media and her two passions are radio and writing. Karen and her husband Butch are proud residents of Dayton and share a love of the culture, restaurants, art and music.
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