Policy on transgender student sparks debate

Psychologist offers parents tips on how to talk with their children about issue.

About a dozen protesters — some for and some opposed to a Troy City Schools decision regarding a transgender student — gathered outside board of education offices Tuesday morning.

By Tuesday night, about 150 people — mostly opponents — gathered at a city church to hear concerns that organizers said were presented in a letter challenging the policy that allows the junior high pupil who newly identifies as male to use the boys restroom.

And in the hours between, a local psychologist suggested ways parents could talk with their students about the issue and a national school board group explained policy changes it suggested two years ago to protect transgender students from discrimination.

Bryan Kemper, a Troy resident and president of Stand True Pro-Life Outreach, said the mayor, superintendent, school board and city council were invited to Tuesday night’s meeting.

“We want to discuss our concerns with each other and with them and give them a chance to respond to us,” Kemper said.

Superintendent Eric Herman said before the meeting: “I don’t believe I will be there tonight. I’m not sure it would help.”

Nine concerns that meeting organizers said they had heard about the policy were listed, and the audience was told a letter challenging the policy was delivered to school officials Tuesday by the Alliance Defending Freedom organization.

Troy resident Melisa Leembruggen, a parent and communications specialist in the area, moderated the meeting.

Among those concerns she outlined: privacy of all students; safety of students; the majority being asked to use limited restroom facilities; whether the policy affects lockerroom use; potential abuse of policy by students; parental involvement and consent.

Resident Denise Burns told those gathered, “Troy has more issues than what bathroom someone uses … One person is justifying a major change for thousands of kids. How is that justified?”

A Troy high school graduate now living in Columbus spoke briefly as the meeting concluded about his experience as a trans man.

“We are not pedophiles. I simply want to use the restroom,” Lachlan Anderson, 39, said, adding later, “All throughout history fear has led us to do really awful things to people. And we have a choice … At this moment, in Troy, Ohio, we can choose love.”

School board President Doug Trostle attended the meeting as did a couple members of city council. “I just wanted to show that we are willing and interested in hearing everyone’s opinion,” Trostle said.

One speaker said the policy was issued by Herman without the board’s consent. “We were not blindsided,” Trostle said.

Policies offer protection

More than 60 percent of Ohio districts that work with top school policy making group NEOLA Inc. have adopted board policies protecting transgender students from discrimination, NEOLA Executive Director Patrick Corbett estimated.

“In 2013, we provided language that added sexual orientation and transgender identity to the definition of protected classes,” Corbett said. “We did that at the very strong insistence of the federal regulatory organizations – the Equal Employment Opportunity Center and the Office for Civil Rights.”

School districts that contract with NEOLA to write their policies still have the right to refuse or edit policies that NEOLA presents. In the Miami Valley, Kettering, Springboro and Northmont are among the many school boards that approved the updated version of Policy 2260, which explicitly protects transgender students.

Troy is not a NEOLA district, and its nondiscrimination policy (policy AC on its website) does not specifically mention transgender students.

But based on an opinion from the district’s legal counsel, Superintendent Herman said transgender students must be protected from discrimination under federal Title IX law.

Corbett said even after a school district decides whether to approve a policy, they need to train their staff and be prepared to implement the policy in real-life cases.

“At the school level, when dealing with a transgender individual, whether it’s an employee or a student, each one’s going to be a little bit different,” Corbett said. “We encourage folks to sit down and listen to the individual – and their parents if it’s a student. Find out what is it they want. Not everyone wants to go into the (main restroom of their gender). Some just want privacy. And that’s probably a whole lot easier to implement, like it or not.”

How to talk to kids

Parents who are uncertain whether to talk to their kids about a classmate with gender identity questions should follow the child’s lead, according to Greg Ramey, executive director of the Center for Pediatric Mental Health Resources at Dayton Children’s.

“A 5- or 7- or 10-year-old may have absolutely no interest, so there would be no need to bring it up,” Ramey said. “For a child who is interested, the most important thing a parent can do is to follow the child’s lead on what they want to talk about, rather than how (the adult) wants to talk about it.”

Ramey recommended a very simple message.

“It’s absolutely fine to judge other people; we do it every day. But you need to judge them on characteristics that matter,” Ramey said. “Judging people on the shape of their bodies, the color of their skin, or whether they happen to be transgender are not things that matter. Judging people on how nice they are, how moral, respectful and productive they are – that’s the way we need to judge people.”

Ramey described gender identity as “a subjective feeling as to whether I feel more like a man or woman,” which for the vast majority of people, corresponds to their anatomy/biology, but is separate from sexual orientation or attraction. Ramey said there isn’t good research on how common it is for people to be transgender, where that feeling does not match their anatomy.

Development of gender identity begins between the ages of 2 and 5, and solidifies in the preteen years, according to Ramey. He urged parents not to worry when young children dress up in other gender’s clothes, calling that very normal. He said there is a difference between kids going through phases, and transgender people who have feelings of being mismatched with their gender over an extensive period of many months or years.

“I think it’s a little bit tougher for older generations to figure out how to deal with this,” Ramey said, citing how gender identity wasn’t a topic of public discussion when today’s parents were children themselves. “But I think older people can keep the focus on what really matters in life – the way you treat other people, your morality, what you’ve achieved … not whether you wear pants or a dress. Take a step back and respect people for what they do.”

Erich Merkle, immediate past president of the Ohio School Psychologists Association, said it’s challenging for many parents to discuss the issue with their children because it does touch on the sexuality discussion.

“Depending on your lifestyle, your community or religious background, those may not be conversations that some parents want to have,” Merkle said. “The psychologist in me says these are discussions that should be happening developmentally throughout the child’s life.”

Merkle questioned Troy’s decision to send a telephone message to school parents Friday, pointing out that students that are questioning their gender or sexual orientation have a higher likelihood of being bullied.

“While that (phone call) might have sounded like a sound, proactive approach, it may have cast an undue amount of light on the student’s situation,” Merkle said.

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