Hanging out on the Ozone Zipline

Ozone Zipline Adventures

My biggest fear in riding the Ozone Zipline Adventure at Camp Kern, which sends riders flying high above the trees via metal wires, was not falling. Quite the opposite, I worried that I would become stuck in the middle of one of the lines unable to get away at all.

In the event I did get stuck, I was told, a guide would throw me a rope to pull me to safety or worse-case scenario, the guide would have to zip out to personally retrieve us. Either option seemed destined to leave me red faced, so I hoped the last minute donut I scarfed would be enough to pull me between towers.

The tour began with a walk up a “skybridge” which is both steep and shaky, perhaps as a way to ween the zipliner off reliance on solid ground. The skybridge also resembles the famous bridge at the end of “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom.” In fact, I suggest piping in the Indy theme song for added ambiance.

We finally reached the top of the bridge, our pants becoming more and more bunched into a wedgie by the safety harness. Suddenly the ground was small and far away.

A guide explained how to control yourself during the actual zip. While it’s mostly just falling, we were told to twist ourselves by pulling on the rope connecting us, tugging left to go right, or tugging right to go left.

And then I was away. Despite the quick nature of this initial zip (it lasted about 15 seconds) several thoughts poured into my head.

First, I was twisting very far to the right. The guide’s instructions aren’t so simple when you have trouble remembering left from right.

Second, as I was frantically jerking on the rope in every conceivable direction (and yet not seeming to twist anyway but forward), I realized the second platform and the thick tree behind it were approaching very quickly. The guide on this platform began frantically jumping with his limbs askew, indicating for me to assume the “Starfish” pose, which theoretically was to slow me down. The position worked too well. I barely made the platform and the guide lunged out and pulled me in.

By the fifth line, the longest of the wires which overlooks a majestic ravine, I actually developed something of a grasp over the controls. I was able to twist right to see out onto the river and perform a decent enough “cannonball” pose to send me right onto the platform. The rider behind me, a slight woman who claimed to eat ice cream in the morning to bulk up, was not as lucky and slid backward to the very middle of the line, where a guide had to zip out and pull her to safety.

Back on terra firma, I declared the zipline a success. The ride flies by, but really can take up a good part of the day, even without the educational interludes normal riders will experience. In fact, I’m certain to go back on, once I’m sure I’ve got my weight up.