3 questions with … Toniya Singh, who wowed TEDx crowd

Talking to Toniya Singh, it’s easy to feel she has packed three or four lifetimes into the space of one.

Daughter of a film star mother and engineer father in India. Honors student. Fluent in five languages. Immigrant. Professional coach looking for her next opportunity. American. And her story continues.

A native of Mumbai, Singh started Dayton-area business consultant Lions Share LLC after being laid off from LexisNexis in late 2012. She has worked for several local companies, and across the country, but it was her several minutes in the 2014 TEDx Dayton spotlight that serves as her latest call to attention.

The Oct. 17 event — a locally organized version of the famous TED Talks — brought speakers from across the Miami Valley to the Victoria Theater to talk, sing, dance and generally do their thing. All were compelling, but Singh’s meditation on being an “outlier” — someone who defies expectations and pushes past boundaries — was a key moment that day. In particular, a shout-out from her adult son, Karn, in the audience during her talk triggered a long bout of applause.

“That’s my report card,” the Centerville resident said of her son’s acknowledgement.

Having stepped through India’s rigid caste system, Singh offered a view of America at TEDx that perhaps too many Americans fail to appreciate. One Twitter follower told Singh that she had renewed her faith in America, she said.

“Where else would I rather be?” she asked.

We recently spoke with Singh about what what TEDx organizers called her “alien experience.” What follows is edited and condensed.

Q: When you were young, it was thought you had a hearing problem. What was that about?

Singh: "I had no problem at all. But that was what they had diagnosed me as. Because when I was born, I was told that girls shouldn't be heard. In fact, I remember (my) mom saying once, 'If someone doesn't say excuse me the first time you speak, you're speaking too loudly.' As a child, I think I took it so literally, and I was so quiet, that they diagnosed me as a deaf-mute …

“I have a feeling I didn’t react to stimulus, maybe because I was such an observer and so quiet. Until I was called upon, I didn’t do anything. So they maybe thought I couldn’t hear. And that continued throughout my school.”

Q: You overcame that and, in time, earned honors as a student. What brought you to the United States?

Singh: "This gentleman who was a student from the United States came to me through a school friend of mine. He didn't know me for anything else other than me … We were kindred. The same age group and everything. I waited, and he pursued me. …

“For 11 months, he put a lot of work internationally to convince my parents and me that he was legit. He was doing his PhD at the time … He asked for my hand in marriage to my father. He did a lot of stuff right, and a lot of it.”

Q: How did people respond to your TEDx talk, especially your comments about America from an immigrant’s perspective?

Singh: "TED came up and it was an absolute godsend. It was such a great experience. For me, that was my first ever-talk. Someone asked me afterwards, 'Do you do this for a living?' I said, 'No, it was my first time, how did I do?'…

(Reaction to my talk was) “Positive. Unbelievably positive. As a matter of a fact, I did not expect anything out of it. … The applause actually threw me off cue.

“It just continues to amaze me that I made an impact. I never expected to. I was just giving back to a country that has allowed me the resources that it has.”

Know someone who can handle Three Questions? We're looking for behind-the-scenes-but-still fascinating Miami Valley residents with something to say. Send your suggestions to tom.gnau@coxinc.com.

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