“It was an emotional time before the game started, just looking up in the stands and seeing everyone in those T-shirts and just (thinking) about what we’ve been through,” he said.
While UD Arena was sold out, Grant couldn’t escape the empty space he saw in the stands and the one he felt in his heart, just as did his wife, Chris.
If this were a few years ago, his daughter Jayda would have been in a seat next to Chris, just a few rows behind the UD bench, laughing and cheering the way she did when she first was a high school athlete of note at Chaminade Julienne and then a UD student and part of the Flyers’ track team.
But that all changed May 30, 2022, when Jay — as her family and friends and now an entire community knows her — took her own life and became part of the growing number of teen and young adult suicides in this country each year.
The loss crushed the Grants and their three sons, and it took a while for Anthony and Chris to pull themselves from the depths of their despair and, as Anthony said Sunday, “bring a level of purpose to our pain.”
According to the NCAA, suicide is the second leading cause of death for student athletes, behind only accidents. The rate of those deaths has doubled — from 7.6% to 15% — over the past 20 years.
“At the end of the day you don’t have to go through what my wife and I went through for this to touch you,” Grant said after the game. “I’d venture to say everybody in this room knows somebody that has had to deal with their own mental health crisis.”
And that was the purpose of Sunday’s game and its companion piece, the Oct. 9 Town Hall Spotlight on mental health at UD Arena.
“Sports brings a lot of people together and if we can use that platform to do some good that’s what it’s all about,” Grant said.
There are few places in college basketball — and none in or out of sports in the Miami Valley — that draws people like Flyers’ basketball to UD Arena.
And even though Sunday’s game was an exhibition, there was added interest because of the matchup with UD’s biggest rival. Dayton had played Xavier 159 times prior.
Although the scoreboard and final stat sheet will tell you the Musketeers won this contest, 98-74, thanks to better outside shooting and rebounding and more veteran depth, Grant and his players believe this was a win for them in the ways that count most.
“As competitors (the score) matters, but at the end of the day there’s a bigger picture behind the game we just played and just emphasizing that is important,” said UD forward Nate Santos.
Credit: David Jablonski
Credit: David Jablonski
Grant said the extensive support the project got from UD and the community impacted people in a positive way: ”I count that as a win.”
And there certainly was support. You saw examples of that the entire game.
During the first time out, Grant and his wife came to midcourt where members of CareSource gave a check for $50,000 to Jay’s Light (jayslight.org), which is a mental health and suicide prevention initiative the family started. Among other things, it directs you to places you can get help, and it also collects donations to fund some of those efforts.
During another break, the Grants presented a $5,000 check to the GEM Project Dayton which strives to curb teen suicide in the area through peer-to-peer education and support.
And during a second-half time out, the University of Dayton presented a $50,000 check to the Ohio Suicide Prevention Foundation, which has worked closely with the Grants over the past 2½ years.
Spectators at Sunday’s game got mental health T-shirts, and the players — and Chris Grant — wore shirts that read “Take Hope to the Hoop.”
Throughout the game there were appearances on the big-screen video boards from athletes and personalities who talked about mental health. The final clip showed the Grants sitting next to each other.
As Anthony talked quietly and earnestly about honoring their daughter and trying to aid other young people facing mental health issues, you noticed Chris, without saying a word, reach over and gently grab his forearm to show support and gain strength.
“This is a topic not talked about enough, especially for athletes,” said Flyers forward Zed Key. “We go through a lot with school and practice and fans. I’m glad Dayton and Coach Grant and his wife are taking the initiative to talk about this serious topic.”
And it’s not just the Grants now. Other college coaches and programs are joining them.
Grant praised Xavier coach Sean Miller and his players for enthusiastically embracing the game and its intent.
The same can be said for University of Cincinnati coach Wes Miller and his Bearcats team and Ohio State’s new head coach Jake Diebler and the Buckeyes, who took part in the initial Jay’s Light exhibition game last season when OSU, led by Chris Holtmann, came to UD Arena and played the Flyers.
Not only did UC and Ohio State play an exhibition game spotlighting mental health on Friday, but Grant said they also teamed up to give a presentation at Princeton High School earlier in the day.
Next weekend Kansas, coached by Grant’s friend Bill Self, travels to Arkansas to play a similar exhibition.
Credit: David Jablonski
Credit: David Jablonski
Grant said the plan to is to play a mental health game each year at the Arena and that UD officials have reached out to schools around the country about it.
“Some coaches who are friends of mine have expressed interest about coming up to participate, not only because they understand what it means to myself and our family, but also because of the (bigger) cause,” he said.
Sunday Grant played 15 players and with 43.5 seconds left, he sent four walk-ons into the game, including his son Makai, a 6-foot-1 sophomore guard.
At the end of his press conference, Grant was asked about the father-son dynamic and how he felt seeing his boy out on the court in a game that held this kind of meaning.
The question caught him momentarily off guard.
He sighed as he took in the weight of that thought, then slowly embraced it:
“For me during the game, I’m his coach more than I’m his dad.
“So…umm…I know he just got beat on that three-point shot at the end there.”
And then the emotion started to surface in him:
“Sitting here right now, I’m proud of him. Just because he’s a really good teammate. He gets it in terms of his opportunity and responsibility to help the guys be the best version of themselves.
“He’s having fun. He’s enjoying it.
“That’s all you want to see as a dad…Your kids continuing to be able to grow and enjoy their opportunities.”
That’s what he saw on the court at the end of Sunday’s game.
That’s what he didn’t see in the stands at the start.
About the Author