— Harry Miller (@h_miller76) March 10, 2022
“I would not usually share such information,” Miller wrote. “However, because I have played football I am no longer afforded the privilege of privacy, so I will share my story briefly before more articles continue to ask, ‘What is wrong with Harry Miller?’
“That is a good question. It is a good enough question for me not to know the answer, though I have asked it often.”
Miller joined the Ohio State program as a five-star prospect in the class of 2019.
He was the No. 2 prospect in the state of Georgia in 247Sports Composite rankings, and the valedictorian in his class at Buford High School.
He made no secret of his varied interests, posting videos of guitar sessions on Twitter and sharing about his favorite philosophers, authors and artists in interviews.
Miller was also active in missionary work in Nicaragua and announced last year he would donate money he made from his name, image and likeness to humanitarian efforts in the country.
But it turns out he was also dealing with his own mental health struggles while helping out those less fortunate.
“Prior to the season last year, I told Coach (Ryan) Day of my intention to kill myself,” Miller wrote Thursday. “He immediately had me in touch with Dr. Candice and Dr. Norman, and I received the support I needed. After a few weeks, I tried my luck at football once again, with scars on my wrists and throat. Maybe the scars were hard to see with with my wrists taped up. Maybe it was hard to see the scars through the bright colors of the television. Maybe the scars were hard to hear through all the talk shows and interviews. They are are hard to see, and they are easy to hide, but they sure do hurt. There was a dead man on the television set, but nobody knew it.
“At the time, I would rather be dead than a coward. I’d rather be nothing at all than have to explain everything what was wrong. I was planning on being reduced to my initials on a sticker on a back of a helmet. I had seen people seek help before.
“I had seen the age-old adage of how our generation was softening by the second, but I can tell you my skin was tough. It had to be. But it was not tougher than the sharp metal of my box cutter. And I saw how easy it was for people to dismiss others by talking about how they were just a dumb, college kid who didn’t know anything. But luckily, I am a student in the College of Engineering, and I have a 4.0 and whatever accolades you might require, so maybe if somebody’s hurt can be taken seriously for once, it can be mine. And maybe I can vouch for all the other people who hurt but are not taken seriously because for some reason, pain must have prerequisites.
“A person like me, who supposedly has the entire world in front of them, can be fully prepared to give up the entire world. This is not an issue reserved for the far and away. It is in our homes. It is in our conversations. It is in the people we love.”
When he arrived on campus, Miller was seen as a future star at center for Ohio State.
He moved to guard in 2020 so he could be part of the starting lineup, and most assumed he would be Ohio State’s starting center last season after Josh Myers went to the NFL.
But he was listed as unavailable at the start of the season then played two games as a reserve in the middle of the season before reportedly suffering a season-ending knee injury.
Luke Wypler ended up being Ohio State’s starting center, but Miller was expected to compete for a starting role at guard this season.
Day announced at the beginning of spring practice Miller was among 10 players who would not take part, but he did not elaborate on the reason for any of those players.
Miller handled that two days later.
“I am grateful for the infrastructure Coach Day has put in place at Ohio State, and I am grateful that he is letting me find a new way to help others in the program,” Miller wrote. “I hope athletic departments around the country do the same. If not for him and the staff, my words would not be a reflection. They would be evidence in a post-mortem.
“God bless those who love. God bless those who weep. And God bless those who hurt and only know how to share their hurt by anger, for they are learning to love with me. I am okay.”
He added, “There is help, always,” and listed the phone number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline — 1-800-273-8255.
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